Second Weddings: Things to Consider

For quite a long period of time, when a person was celebrating their second wedding, the occasion was often downplayed. However, second weddings these days are more commonplace and have become more acceptable and, in many cases, are even bigger events than first weddings.

Making sure to pay special attention to the details of second weddings, such as the wedding location, wedding decorations, the wedding ceremony program, the wedding theme and other such considerations, will help to make sure that the day is unique and memorable. Often, it is such specifics that make the day stand out and it also helps to create precious memories that will be treasured for many years.

When it comes to second weddings, it may mean that either the bride or the groom, or both, have children who must be taken into consideration. In such cases, the advice of experts is to make sure that before anyone else is told about the engagement, that the children are first talked to in a calm and nurturing environment.

This way, the children are able to openly ask any questions they might have and won’t feel constrained or pressured because other people are present. This is also a good time to ask for their input. Often, second weddings go more smoothly if the children are allowed to share their ideas about wedding locations or with the planning of the wedding reception.

After the children are informed and have had a chance to accept the plan, it is then appropriate to tell the parents of the bride and groom. At this point, siblings and friends of the couple can be informed as well.

When there are children to be considered, there are most likely ex-spouses and former in-laws who will need to be informed about the wedding as well. In cases where such relationships are strained, it should not be considered an obligation to share this information face-to-face or even by telephone; a simple note will suffice. However, it is important not to put the children in the position of sharing such news.

The guests who are invited to second weddings are not considered to be obligated to give wedding gifts for such occasions. In the majority of cases, couples marrying for the second time already have duplications of household items and don’t want to add more to a house that will soon be very crowded as two families try to blend together. It is advised to discreetly ask for no gifts in the invitation, or to ask that donations be given to a charity in the name of the couple.

Etiquette guides suggest that it is not appropriate to extend an invitation to second weddings to former spouses, regardless of how good the relationship with them is. Having the former spouse there can be confusing to the children and makes it very awkward for everyone else who is present who may know the ex-spouse.

Second weddings can create meaningful and memorable ways for the children of the couple to be involved with the wedding ceremony proceedings. Children can be a part of the official wedding party by acting as junior bridesmaids or junior grooms men. Any younger children can take part as a ring bearer or a flower girl. Some couples also choose to involve the children in the ring ceremony as well. For children who are not intimidated by being in front of people, they can also read a poem or sing a song as part of the occasion.